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Now showing at Scott Cinemas Penel Orlieu,Bridgwater,Somerset TA6 3PH 0871 230 3200

  • Cinderella
  • Fare Thee Well: Celebrating 50 Years Of Grateful Dead
  • Jurassic World
  • Minions
  • Minions (Subtitled)
  • Minions 3D
  • Ted 2
  • Terminator Genisys
  • Terminator Genisys 3D
  • Two By Two

Cinderella 4 stars

movie title

Ella loses her mother and father, but inherits a vindictive stepmother Lady Tremaine and two brattish stepsisters, Anastasia and Drizella. Treated as a servant by her new family, who cruelly nickname her Cinderella, the plucky heroine catches the eye of dashing Prince Charming, who must pick a bride to ensure the security of the kingdom. So he throws a lavish ball where Ella makes a grand entrance with some magical help from her Fairy Godmother.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Drama, Family, Family, Fantasy, Romance
  • CastDerek Jacobi, Stellan Skarsgard, Richard Madden, Holliday Grainger, Cate Blanchett, Sophie McShera, Lily James, Ben Chaplin, Helena Bonham Carter, Hayley Atwell.
  • DirectorKenneth Branagh.
  • WriterChris Weitz.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration113 mins
  • Official sitemovies.disney.com/cinderella/
  • Release27/03/2015

Slavishly adapted from Disney's classic 1950 animated musical, Kenneth Branagh's live action version of the fairy-tale romance doesn't skimp on the period detail. Sandy Powell's luxurious costumes, Dante Ferretti's opulent set designs and Patrick Doyle's sweeping orchestral score conjure a magical world of unerring love in which even we gasp at the gargantuan splendour of the grand ball where the prince must choose his wife.

While this Cinderella unquestionably dazzles the senses, screenwriter Chris Weitz is shackled to fond memories of the hand-drawn film and consequently, he has almost no room for flourishes of originality.

The plot arc is predetermined, the ugly stepsisters don't hack off their heels or toes to squeeze into a misplaced glass slipper, and Helena Bonham Carter's fairy godmother isn't quite as eccentric as she or we would like as she engineers the film's best set-piece with a flick of her wand.

"I don't go transforming pumpkins for just anyone!" she chirps. No, the special effects wizards do and they accomplish the pivotal sequence with aplomb. Before all of the jiggery-pokery with a pumpkin, four mice and a goose, Ella (Lily James) is consigned to the kitchen by her vindictive stepmother Lady Tremaine (Cate Blanchett) and brattish stepsisters, Anastasia (Holliday Grainger) and Drizella (Sophie McShera).

Emboldened by the dying words of her mother (Hayley Atwell) - "Have courage and be kind" - Ella tries to rise above the bullying. When the name-calling becomes too frightful, she escapes on horseback and catches the eye of the dashing Prince (Richard Madden), who must pick a bride at the behest of the dying King (Derek Jacobi).

So the Prince throws a lavish ball where Ella makes her grand entrance then disappears as the clock chimes midnight, leaving behind footwear that would surely pose a health and safety risk in any other film. "Find that girl - the forgetful one who loses her shoes!" decrees the Captain of the royal guard (Nonzo Anosie).

Cinderella will enchant a generation of girls, who dream of donning the tiara of a Disney princess. James and Madden are an attractive screen pairing, while Blanchett draws inspiration from Joan Crawford to cast a formidable shadow from beneath the brim of her character's extravagant hats.

"I do love a happy ending, don't you?" gushes one of the characters. Branagh's film certainly does, without a hint of irony. The main feature is preceded by the animated short Frozen Fever, which continues the adventures of sisters Anna (voiced by Kristen Bell) and Elsa (Idina Menzel) as they prepare for a birthday celebration.

Lovable snowman Olaf (Josh Gad) and hunky Kristoff (Jonathan Groff) also return and the script includes a cute reference to the blockbusting film when ice queen Elsa sneezes and chirrups, "A cold never bothered me anyway!" A generation of men, who take to their beds at the first sniffle, would disagree.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Saturday 4th July 2015

Fare Thee Well: Celebrating 50 Years Of Grateful Dead 3 stars

To mark the 50th anniversary of Grateful Dead, original band members Mickey Hart, Bill Kreutzmann, Phil Lesh and Bob Weir reunite at Chicago's Soldier Field, almost 20 years to the day since the last Grateful Dead concert at the same venue, for three farewell concerts on July 3, 4 and 5, 2015. This live recording of the final show will be broadcast via satellite worldwide.

  • GenreMusical, Special
  • CountryUS
  • Duration240 mins
  • Official sitewww.dead.net
  • Release06/07/2015 (selected cinemas)

To mark the 50th anniversary of Grateful Dead, original band members Mickey Hart, Bill Kreutzmann, Phil Lesh and Bob Weir reunite at Chicago's Soldier Field, almost 20 years to the day since the last Grateful Dead concert at the same venue, for three farewell concerts on July 3, 4 and 5, 2015. These three concerts will be the original members' final performances together, accompanied by guitarist Trey Anastasio, keyboard player Jeff Chimenti and pianist Bruce Hornsby. The group will perform two sets of music each night and this live recording of the show on July 5 will be broadcast via satellite worldwide.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Monday 6th July 2015

Jurassic World 4 stars

movie title

The Jurassic World theme park is open on Isla Nublar under the control of Operations Manager Claire Dearing. The park's scientists play God by performing genetic modification experiments to breed a new dinosaur: the Indominus Rex. When this hulking beast escapes confinement and goes on the rampage in a park crowded with terrified tourists, animal wrangler Owen Grady races to the rescue.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Family, Science Fiction, Thriller
  • CastJudy Greer, Chris Pratt, Ty Simpkins, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Nick Robinson.
  • DirectorColin Trevorrow.
  • WriterRick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Colin Trevorrow, Derek Connolly.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration124 mins
  • Official sitewww.jurassicworld.com
  • Release11/06/2015

In the original Jurassic Park, scientists reanimate dinosaurs on a tropical island and quickly discover their arrogant folly. "Life breaks free. It expands to new territories and crashes through barriers," wisely observes Jeff Goldblum's doom-mongering chaos mathematician. His words reverberate throughout this fourth instalment of the blockbusting dino-franchise.

Director Colin Trevorrow and three co-writers step back in time, using the structure and heightened human drama of the first film as a solid template for this return to Isla Nublar. Jurassic World begs, borrows and affectionately steals from the 1993 box office behemoth, including a cameo for the Mr DNA animation and a set piece in the iconic visitor centre (now overgrown).

Two stricken children are a focal point when the park goes into meltdown, and mission control boasts a nerdy computer wizard (Jake Johnson) for mild comic relief. If the nuts and bolts of the screenplay are unabashedly retro, the special effects are undeniably state-of-the-art, realising creatures great and small, which chomp through countless extras and the main cast.

This is by far the bloodiest chapter of the Jurassic saga, if not quite the best. Jurassic World opened to the public in 2005 and now welcomes more than 20,000 visitors a day. Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) oversees park operations, while Dr Henry Wu (BD Wong) plays God in the laboratories, splicing DNA strands to create terrifying new breeds.

"Consumers want them bigger, louder, more teeth," Claire tells a group of investors. Thus the ferocious and highly intelligent Indominus Rex is born. "This will give the parents nightmares," shudders park CEO Simon Masrani (Irrfan Khan), who took up the mantle from John Hammond to open an isle of prehistoric wonders.

When the Indominus Rex escapes her paddock, Claire begs naval officer-turned-animal behaviour specialist Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) for help. He has been working on the island with Vic Hoskins (Vincent D'Onofrio), head of InGen Security, on a top-secret project involving four captive velociraptors.

Claire is distraught because her nephews, Zach (Nick Robinson) and Gray (Ty Simpkins), are trapped in the middle of the bloodbath. She implores Owen to rescue the boys, tracking them by footprints and scent. "I was in the Navy, not the Navajo," he reminds her.

Jurassic World is a muscular, rollicking romp that captures some of the adrenaline-pumping thrills and jaw-dropping awe we felt more than 20 years ago when Steven Spielberg first unleashed dinosaurs back into multiplexes.

Pratt is an instantly likable hero and he catalyses a simmering screen chemistry with Howard as the workaholic who faces the dino-pocalypse in highly inappropriate footwear. D'Onofrio glowers as one of the film's boo-hiss villains, who views the creatures as expendable assets. "We own them. Extinct animals have no rights," he snarls.

Action sequences are orchestrated at a lick, seamlessly integrating digital trickery with live action including chaotic scenes of a flock of pteranodons plucking visitors from the ground. "Remember: something chases you, run!" advises Zach and Gray's mom at the beginning of the film. Wise words.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Saturday 4th July 2015
Sunday 5th July 2015
Tuesday 7th July 2015

Minions 3 stars

movie title

Since the dawn of time, the Minions have gravitated towards the most despicable master they can find. One Minion named Kevin embarks on an epic quest to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Flanked by teenage rebel Stuart and diminutive scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' current home in Antarctica bound for 1968 New York City, where he stumbles upon the world's first female super-villain: Scarlet Overkill.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastChris Renaud, Sandra Bullock, Pierre Coffin, Steve Coogan, Allison Janney, Michael Keaton, Katy Mixon, Jon Hamm.
  • DirectorPierre Coffin, Kyle Balda.
  • WriterBrian Lynch.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration91 mins
  • Official sitewww.minionnation.co.uk
  • Release26/06/2015

You can have too much of a good thing. In small doses, Despicable Me's goggle-eyed hench-creatures are a deranged delight. As unwittingly heroes of their own big screen adventure, these pint-sized "knights in shining denim" lose some of their loopy lustre, hindered by Brian Lynch's flimsy script, which is disappointingly light on storyline and belly laughs.

A dazzling vocal cast of gifted comic actors is repeatedly short-changed. Very young children, who gurgle with glee at the Minions' bonkers vernacular combining Esperanto and gobbledygook, will adore the slapstick, pratfalls and the tiniest member of the Minions clan, Bob, who clutches a well-loved teddy bear called Tim.

Adults will be considerably harder to win over. The lack of a coherent storyline grates as much as the lazy cultural stereotyping of the British as tea-sipping, corgi-riding folk, who frequent pubs called The Pig's Spleen.

Since the dawn of time, Minions have gravitated towards despicable masters including Tyrannosaurus Rex, Count Dracula and Napoleon. Unfortunately, these masters die prematurely - at the hands of the clumsy, yellow hench-creatures - leaving the Minions in a state of deep depression.

One brave soul named Kevin steps forth to find an evil boss for his bald, jaundiced brethren. Flanked by Stuart and scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' ice cave retreat bound for 1968 New York City. Cue a President Richard Nixon billboard proclaiming "Finally: a name you can trust". Could the Minions have stumbled upon their arch-villain?

No. The plucky trio learns about a gathering of criminals in Orlando and hitches a ride to the convention with a bank-robbing family led by Walter Nelson (voiced by Michael Keaton) and wife Madge (Allison Janney).

Their daughter Tina (Katy Mixon) points the Minions in the direction of bouffant super-villain Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). "If I was a minion, that's who I'd want to work for," she swoons. Thus the trio pledges allegiance to Scarlet and her inventor husband Herb (Jon Hamm), who are plotting to steal the Crown Jewels from Queen Elizabeth II (Jennifer Saunders).

While the soundtrack swings its flares to The Kinks and The Who, Kevin, Stuart and Bob careen around London armed with Herb's nifty gadgets: a robo-suit, lava lamp gun and hypno-hat.

Minions has a sprinkling of giggles and doesn't outstay its welcome but there's an unshakable feeling that Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda's film falls short. The groovy time period should be a velvet goldmine of visual gags but the best the film can muster is a nod to The Beatles and a faked moon landing.

The 3D version doesn't exploit the eye-popping format so parents with tykes in tow should save their money for the inevitable raid on the concessions stand. Animation is colourful and pristine, opting for shiny surfaces and sharp angles that reduce the need for meticulous detail and realism. Despicable? Meh.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Saturday 4th July 2015
Sunday 5th July 2015
Monday 6th July 2015
Wednesday 8th July 2015
Thursday 9th July 2015

Minions (Subtitled) 3 stars

movie title

Since the dawn of time, the Minions have gravitated towards the most despicable master they can find. One Minion named Kevin embarks on an epic quest to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Flanked by teenage rebel Stuart and diminutive scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' current home in Antarctica bound for 1968 New York City, where he stumbles upon the world's first female super-villain: Scarlet Overkill.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastSteve Coogan, Pierre Coffin, Allison Janney, Michael Keaton, Katy Mixon, Chris Renaud, Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm.
  • DirectorPierre Coffin, Kyle Balda.
  • WriterBrian Lynch.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration91 mins
  • Official sitewww.minionnation.co.uk
  • Release26/06/2015

You can have too much of a good thing. In small doses, Despicable Me's goggle-eyed hench-creatures are a deranged delight. As unwittingly heroes of their own big screen adventure, these pint-sized "knights in shining denim" lose some of their loopy lustre, hindered by Brian Lynch's flimsy script, which is disappointingly light on storyline and belly laughs.

A dazzling vocal cast of gifted comic actors is repeatedly short-changed. Very young children, who gurgle with glee at the Minions' bonkers vernacular combining Esperanto and gobbledygook, will adore the slapstick, pratfalls and the tiniest member of the Minions clan, Bob, who clutches a well-loved teddy bear called Tim.

Adults will be considerably harder to win over. The lack of a coherent storyline grates as much as the lazy cultural stereotyping of the British as tea-sipping, corgi-riding folk, who frequent pubs called The Pig's Spleen.

Since the dawn of time, Minions have gravitated towards despicable masters including Tyrannosaurus Rex, Count Dracula and Napoleon. Unfortunately, these masters die prematurely - at the hands of the clumsy, yellow hench-creatures - leaving the Minions in a state of deep depression.

One brave soul named Kevin steps forth to find an evil boss for his bald, jaundiced brethren. Flanked by Stuart and scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' ice cave retreat bound for 1968 New York City. Cue a President Richard Nixon billboard proclaiming "Finally: a name you can trust". Could the Minions have stumbled upon their arch-villain?

No. The plucky trio learns about a gathering of criminals in Orlando and hitches a ride to the convention with a bank-robbing family led by Walter Nelson (voiced by Michael Keaton) and wife Madge (Allison Janney).

Their daughter Tina (Katy Mixon) points the Minions in the direction of bouffant super-villain Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). "If I was a minion, that's who I'd want to work for," she swoons. Thus the trio pledges allegiance to Scarlet and her inventor husband Herb (Jon Hamm), who are plotting to steal the Crown Jewels from Queen Elizabeth II (Jennifer Saunders).

While the soundtrack swings its flares to The Kinks and The Who, Kevin, Stuart and Bob careen around London armed with Herb's nifty gadgets: a robo-suit, lava lamp gun and hypno-hat.

Minions has a sprinkling of giggles and doesn't outstay its welcome but there's an unshakable feeling that Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda's film falls short. The groovy time period should be a velvet goldmine of visual gags but the best the film can muster is a nod to The Beatles and a faked moon landing.

The 3D version doesn't exploit the eye-popping format so parents with tykes in tow should save their money for the inevitable raid on the concessions stand. Animation is colourful and pristine, opting for shiny surfaces and sharp angles that reduce the need for meticulous detail and realism. Despicable? Meh.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Tuesday 7th July 2015

Minions 3D 3 stars

movie title

Since the dawn of time, the Minions have gravitated towards the most despicable master they can find. One Minion named Kevin embarks on an epic quest to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Flanked by teenage rebel Stuart and diminutive scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' current home in Antarctica bound for 1968 New York City, where he stumbles upon the world's first female super-villain: Scarlet Overkill.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastPierre Coffin, Chris Renaud, Sandra Bullock, Steve Coogan, Allison Janney, Michael Keaton, Katy Mixon, Jon Hamm.
  • DirectorPierre Coffin, Kyle Balda.
  • WriterBrian Lynch.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration91 mins
  • Official sitewww.minionnation.co.uk
  • Release26/06/2015

You can have too much of a good thing. In small doses, Despicable Me's goggle-eyed hench-creatures are a deranged delight. As unwittingly heroes of their own big screen adventure, these pint-sized "knights in shining denim" lose some of their loopy lustre, hindered by Brian Lynch's flimsy script, which is disappointingly light on storyline and belly laughs.

A dazzling vocal cast of gifted comic actors is repeatedly short-changed. Very young children, who gurgle with glee at the Minions' bonkers vernacular combining Esperanto and gobbledygook, will adore the slapstick, pratfalls and the tiniest member of the Minions clan, Bob, who clutches a well-loved teddy bear called Tim.

Adults will be considerably harder to win over. The lack of a coherent storyline grates as much as the lazy cultural stereotyping of the British as tea-sipping, corgi-riding folk, who frequent pubs called The Pig's Spleen.

Since the dawn of time, Minions have gravitated towards despicable masters including Tyrannosaurus Rex, Count Dracula and Napoleon. Unfortunately, these masters die prematurely - at the hands of the clumsy, yellow hench-creatures - leaving the Minions in a state of deep depression.

One brave soul named Kevin steps forth to find an evil boss for his bald, jaundiced brethren. Flanked by Stuart and scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' ice cave retreat bound for 1968 New York City. Cue a President Richard Nixon billboard proclaiming "Finally: a name you can trust". Could the Minions have stumbled upon their arch-villain?

No. The plucky trio learns about a gathering of criminals in Orlando and hitches a ride to the convention with a bank-robbing family led by Walter Nelson (voiced by Michael Keaton) and wife Madge (Allison Janney).

Their daughter Tina (Katy Mixon) points the Minions in the direction of bouffant super-villain Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). "If I was a minion, that's who I'd want to work for," she swoons. Thus the trio pledges allegiance to Scarlet and her inventor husband Herb (Jon Hamm), who are plotting to steal the Crown Jewels from Queen Elizabeth II (Jennifer Saunders).

While the soundtrack swings its flares to The Kinks and The Who, Kevin, Stuart and Bob careen around London armed with Herb's nifty gadgets: a robo-suit, lava lamp gun and hypno-hat.

Minions has a sprinkling of giggles and doesn't outstay its welcome but there's an unshakable feeling that Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda's film falls short. The groovy time period should be a velvet goldmine of visual gags but the best the film can muster is a nod to The Beatles and a faked moon landing.

The 3D version doesn't exploit the eye-popping format so parents with tykes in tow should save their money for the inevitable raid on the concessions stand. Animation is colourful and pristine, opting for shiny surfaces and sharp angles that reduce the need for meticulous detail and realism. Despicable? Meh.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Saturday 4th July 2015
Sunday 5th July 2015

Ted 2 3 stars

John has divorced Lori and Ted is poised to walk down the aisle with his sweetheart, a checkout girl called Tami-Lynn. Then disaster strikes. The state of Massachusetts decrees that a teddy bear is a piece of property not a person so Ted is stripped of his marriage certificate, job and identity. Consequently, Ted and John head into the courtroom with civil rights attorney Samantha L Jackson to argue that Ted is alive and deserves his rights.

  • GenreComedy, Romance
  • CastMark Wahlberg, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried, Seth MacFarlane, Jessica Barth.
  • DirectorSeth MacFarlane.
  • WriterAlec Sulkin, Seth MacFarlane, Wellesley Wild.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration116 mins
  • Official sitewww.ted2.co.uk
  • Release08/07/2015

In 2012, writer-director Seth MacFarlane's mismatched buddy comedy Ted became a surprise smash hit, proving that man's best friend isn't always a dog. Sometimes, it's a walking, talking, potty-mouthed teddy bear with a penchant for beer, drugs and scantily clad ladies. The sequel unfolds six months after John (Mark Wahlberg) has divorced his bride Lori (Mila Kunis) and fur ball Ted (voiced by McFarlane) is poised to walk down the aisle with his sweetheart, a checkout girl called Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). Marriage is just the beginning of Ted's woes and the bear decides that the best way to save the relationship is to start a family. Unfortunately, he doesn't possess the necessary equipment so Ted and John hatch a bear-brained scheme to steal the sperm of a well-known athlete. The plot amounts to nothing, then disaster strikes. Ted loses his marriage certificate, job and identity because the state of Massachusetts decrees a teddy bear is a piece of property not a person. Consequently, Ted and John head into the courtroom to argue that Ted is alive and deserves his rights. They are aided by an idealistic and enthusiastic civil rights attorney called Samantha L Jackson (Amanda Seyfried), who is facing a formidable opponent in the form of tenacious prosecutor Shep Wild (John Slattery).

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Wednesday 8th July 2015
Thursday 9th July 2015

Terminator Genisys 2 stars

movie title

In the aftermath of judgment day, rebel leader John Connor hopes to give humanity a fighting chance by sending his friend Kyle Reese back in time to 1986 to protect his helpless mother Sarah from a shape-shifting Terminator. When Kyle finally catches up with Sarah, he discovers that he is in an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a well-honed fighting machine, who already has protection: an ageing T-800 model Terminator.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Science Fiction, Thriller
  • CastJai Courtney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Byung-hun Lee, Jason Clarke, JK Simmons.
  • DirectorAlan Taylor.
  • WriterPatrick Lussier, Laeta Kalogridis.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration126 mins
  • Official sitewww.terminatormovie.com
  • Release02/07/2015

In Terminator Genisys, the misfiring reboot of James Cameron's apocalyptic time-travelling saga, Arnold Schwarzenegger's cyborg assassin repeatedly references his advancing years in a dystopian world of young pretenders. "I'm old, not obsolete," he deadpans in that distinctive Teutonic growl. Alas, both the hulking Austrian action man and the blockbusting franchise are ready for the scrapheap.

Millions of dollars of special effects, some of them workmanlike, cannot disguise the fried circuitry of Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier's script, which is hard-wired with the muddled concept of alternate universes to explain the tweaks to this reimagined origin story.

Released in 1984, The Terminator tapped into timely concerns about nuclear warfare to explore a bleak future in which machines have rebelled against mankind and rendered our species almost obsolete. Terminator Genisys follows a similarly gloomy trajectory.

In the aftermath of judgment day, the last vestiges of mankind face complete extinction at the hands of the automata. Rebel leader John Connor (Jason Clarke) leads the charge in 2029 Los Angeles, flanked by best friend Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney).

"You gave us all a future, John. I'm going to use mine," proudly declares Kyle, who volunteers to venture back to 1984 to protect John's mother Sarah (Emilia Clarke) from a shape-shifting T-1000 (Byung-hun Lee).

When Kyle arrives, he discovers that he has gatecrashed an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a ballsy warrior, who already has a protector: an ageing T-800 (Schwarzenegger), which she refers to affectionately as "pops".

Sarah, Kyle and the T-800 launch an assault on Cyberdyne Systems run by Miles Dyson (Courtney B Vance) and his son Danny (Dayo Okeniyi), who will unwittingly give birth to Skynet and bring about mankind's downfall. However, someone knows they are coming.

Terminator Genisys attempts to mimic Jurassic World by exploiting our nostalgia, but Alan Taylor's picture has neither the jaw-dropping thrills nor the wry humour of the rampaging dinosaurs. The multiple timelines become a tangled, knotty mess before the two hours are up, making us wish that Skynet had, in an alternate universe, infected the scriptwriters' computers with a virus and wiped this film from their hard drives.

Action sequences feel second-hand: duels between different model Terminators were choreographed with more flair in previous films and the culmination to a chase across the Golden Gate Bridge whiffs of The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

Faltering comic relief arrives in the form of JK Simmons' veteran LAPD detective, who is rescued by Sarah and Kyle in 1984 and drives his colleagues mad with far-fetched stories of killer robots.

"We're here to stop the end of the world," Sarah tells him.
"I can work with that," grins the detective.
Unfortunately, we can't work with Taylor's reboot. The end - including an additional scene secreted in the credits - can't come soon enough.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Saturday 4th July 2015
Sunday 5th July 2015
Monday 6th July 2015
Tuesday 7th July 2015
Wednesday 8th July 2015
Thursday 9th July 2015

Terminator Genisys 3D 2 stars

movie title

In the aftermath of judgment day, rebel leader John Connor hopes to give humanity a fighting chance by sending his friend Kyle Reese back in time to 1986 to protect his helpless mother Sarah from a shape-shifting Terminator. When Kyle finally catches up with Sarah, he discovers that he is in an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a well-honed fighting machine, who already has protection: an ageing T-800 model Terminator.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Science Fiction, Thriller
  • CastArnold Schwarzenegger, Jai Courtney, Emilia Clarke, Byung-hun Lee, Jason Clarke, JK Simmons.
  • DirectorAlan Taylor.
  • WriterLaeta Kalogridis, Patrick Lussier.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration126 mins
  • Official sitewww.terminatormovie.com
  • Release02/07/2015

In Terminator Genisys, the misfiring reboot of James Cameron's apocalyptic time-travelling saga, Arnold Schwarzenegger's cyborg assassin repeatedly references his advancing years in a dystopian world of young pretenders. "I'm old, not obsolete," he deadpans in that distinctive Teutonic growl. Alas, both the hulking Austrian action man and the blockbusting franchise are ready for the scrapheap.

Millions of dollars of special effects, some of them workmanlike, cannot disguise the fried circuitry of Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier's script, which is hard-wired with the muddled concept of alternate universes to explain the tweaks to this reimagined origin story.

Released in 1984, The Terminator tapped into timely concerns about nuclear warfare to explore a bleak future in which machines have rebelled against mankind and rendered our species almost obsolete. Terminator Genisys follows a similarly gloomy trajectory.

In the aftermath of judgment day, the last vestiges of mankind face complete extinction at the hands of the automata. Rebel leader John Connor (Jason Clarke) leads the charge in 2029 Los Angeles, flanked by best friend Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney).

"You gave us all a future, John. I'm going to use mine," proudly declares Kyle, who volunteers to venture back to 1984 to protect John's mother Sarah (Emilia Clarke) from a shape-shifting T-1000 (Byung-hun Lee).

When Kyle arrives, he discovers that he has gatecrashed an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a ballsy warrior, who already has a protector: an ageing T-800 (Schwarzenegger), which she refers to affectionately as "pops".

Sarah, Kyle and the T-800 launch an assault on Cyberdyne Systems run by Miles Dyson (Courtney B Vance) and his son Danny (Dayo Okeniyi), who will unwittingly give birth to Skynet and bring about mankind's downfall. However, someone knows they are coming.

Terminator Genisys attempts to mimic Jurassic World by exploiting our nostalgia, but Alan Taylor's picture has neither the jaw-dropping thrills nor the wry humour of the rampaging dinosaurs. The multiple timelines become a tangled, knotty mess before the two hours are up, making us wish that Skynet had, in an alternate universe, infected the scriptwriters' computers with a virus and wiped this film from their hard drives.

Action sequences feel second-hand: duels between different model Terminators were choreographed with more flair in previous films and the culmination to a chase across the Golden Gate Bridge whiffs of The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

Faltering comic relief arrives in the form of JK Simmons' veteran LAPD detective, who is rescued by Sarah and Kyle in 1984 and drives his colleagues mad with far-fetched stories of killer robots.

"We're here to stop the end of the world," Sarah tells him.
"I can work with that," grins the detective.
Unfortunately, we can't work with Taylor's reboot. The end - including an additional scene secreted in the credits - can't come soon enough.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Saturday 4th July 2015
Sunday 5th July 2015
Tuesday 7th July 2015
Wednesday 8th July 2015
Thursday 9th July 2015

Two By Two 2 stars

Dave and his inquisitive young son Finny belong to a fluffy land-based species called Nestrians, who are excellent homemakers. They are denied safe passage on Noah's ark and adopt laughable disguises to pose as carnivorous hyena-like Grymps alongside a genuine mother animal called Hazel and her daughter Leah. The roaring flood arrives but Finny and Leah are stranded on dry land with a giant slug called Obesey and his parasitic passenger, Stayput.

  • GenreAdventure, Animation/Cartoon, Comedy
  • CastAva Connolly, Tara Flynn, Paul Tylak, Patrick FitzSymons, Callum Maloney, Dermot Magennis.
  • DirectorSean McCormack, Toby Genkel.
  • WriterRichie Conroy, Marteinn Thorisson, Mark Hodkinson, Toby Genkel.
  • CountryGer/Bel/Lu
  • Duration87 mins
  • Official sitewww.facebook.com/pages/Ooops-Noah-is-gone/222749614584770
  • Release01/05/2015

The biblical story of Noah, neatly encapsulated in six chapters of the book of Genesis, provides a weak catalyst for this derivative computer-animated adventure, which strives to emulate the Ice Age films but falls woefully short of that franchise's visual sophistication and belly laughs. Co-directors Toby Genkel and Sean McCormack chart a pedestrian course through shallow dramatic waters, bringing together cuddly critters in a race against time to escape an apocalyptic downpour.

Vocal performances are lacklustre, like the visuals, and the absence of jeopardy in the closing frames is palpable. Crucially, Two By Two defies its own flimsy set-up without obvious reason, such as inviting a family of three giraffes into the ark, while only allowing one member of other species to apparently board the gargantuan gopher wood vessel.

Noah is mentioned but never seen - instead a sanctimonious, self-serving lion captains the ship aided by a pair of grouchy gorillas. Any wholesome messages about family unity, teamwork and tolerance buried in the ham-fisted script are submerged beneath a thick glaze of syrupy sentiment as the film reaches its underwhelming conclusion.

Dave (voiced by Dermot Magennis) and his inquisitive young son Finny (Callum Maloney) belong to a fluffy land-based species called Nestrians, who are excellent homemakers. "All the animals of the world have been called to a gathering," Dave explains to his incredulous boy. "There's a flood coming. We'll drown if we don't leave."

On cue, storm clouds gather and the heavens open, ushering the two Nestrians on their exhausting trek for survival. They arrive to discover that "all animals are welcome on Noah's ark... as long as you're on Noah's list."

Alas, Dave and Finny are rejected for travel as well as two bat-like predators called Griffins (Aileen Mythen, Magennis again). The resourceful Nestrians adopt laughable disguises to pose as carnivorous hyena-like Grymps alongside a genuine mother animal called Hazel (Lara Flynn) and her daughter Leah (Ava Connolly).

The roaring flood arrives but Finny and Leah are stranded on dry land with a giant slug called Obesey (Paul Tylak) and his parasitic passenger, Stayput (Patrick Fitzsymons). As the youngsters head for higher ground, Dave and Hazel desperately attempt to turn around the ark.

Fittingly, Two By Two is a damp squib. Elements of the vastly superior Finding Nemo are flung into the bland mix, offset by the feeble villainy of The Griffins, whose attempts to eat Finny and Leah are pathetic. The closest the film comes to a joke is one passenger announcement aboard the ark: "Our approximate sailing time is 40 days and 40 nights. We are expecting some choppy seas and light drizzle."

Thankfully Genkel and McCormack's film only lasts 87 minutes, but that still feels like a slog.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Saturday 4th July 2015
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